Resiliency
I read an article on grief about a year ago and the smarty pants, I believe if memory serves me, Columbia professor talked about the "resiliency of the spirit". Basically he said that those with more resilient spirits heal more quickly and completely after a loss. At the time I read it, I was enraged. I actually stormed about for a couple days in a "you don't know what happened to me, what I've been through" snit.
I have thought about this quite a bit in the last couple of days, since the horrific events in Connecticut. The loss of my son has nothing in common with the horror these children faced. He died in my arms in a hospital surrounded by the people who love him most, his sister and his father. (I can't bring myself to say "loved him most", past tense is painful) The thing we do have in common is we sent our children to school one day and they did not come home. While the circumstances are vastly different, the end result is the same: Someone we loved with all our hearts and who was a key part of our family and our very identity, is gone from this earth and our lives, and we must find a way to live the rest of our life without them.
Always reluctant to admit I am wrong, that just might be the case. I have come to embrace the idea of resiliency and hope I have instilled it in my daughter. Bad, painful things are going to happen in every life. Hopefully most of us will never have to face what these families who are so on our minds are facing. I send them my prayers and I wish them peace sooner rather than later. And when the pain is less agonizing, I hope they have the strength to consider the concept of resiliency. May their spirits be resilient in the face of unimaginable grief.
